Increasing numbers of men are discovering the use of male chastity devices and their effects on the individual. i have been in chastity on and off for over five years, and nearly all the time for the past eighteen months and the effects on me have been vast. i can no longer masturbate or ejaculate when in the device, and i am banned from masturbating when i am allowed out of it as well. It increases my desire to please Mistress who has the control and the decision on when i am allowed to be released. It is a new life for me, but it is a very satisfying one.
Much is written about the effects of being in chastity, and how it sharpens the mind, and makes a man begin to listen, to communicate, and to discover the needs and desires of his partner. In my situation it has helped me to grow into being a better slave, and to get my head around the changes i need to make to develop in submission to my Mistress and to change sessions of bondage and domination into domination and submission in my whole life, or as much of it as is possible. Chastity has been a key to the submissive life for me, and i think for many others as well. Even though it seems a silly idea, it does give freedom to change a style of behaviour and life, which i had not really expected. i thought it would be all about power and my submission, but it is so , so much more.
But there are so many other things that it can make possible. Sierra Parker in her book “Restart Intimacy” puts the use of male chastity as one of the central keys how to bring intimacy into all areas of life. The book is written with both couples and individuals in mind but the process seems to work best for couples where the woman holds the key and directs the man. The man finds that voluntarily handing over control of his parts to his partner makes it possible for him to make changes in his life. He becomes ever more attentive to her and mindful of Her needs, desires, and aspirations, and together they can move forward to look at ways to bring intimacy, though not necessarily orgasm for the man into everything they do.
Sections of the book describe how grooming and posture for the man can be improved. Mutual grooming may be a very intimate affair, ranging from brushing each other’s hair to mutual shaving of the genital areas The man can learn how to pay his full part in the work at home, cleaning , cooking, making everything tidy, and taking out the trash, and provide a clean tidy car to carry his partner where she wants to go.
Later parts of the book describe how massage, touching, bathing, and kissing and cuddling can be enhanced, and the man can learn how to give his partner the attention She needs to reach orgasm. The whole process involves both partners learning to communicate, to listen, and to work together to develop intimacy.
Although the man is locked away and the woman holds the key this does not need to mean that she takes a fully dominant role, and they explore the realms of BDSM, with the man becoming submissive to her domination. This can occur, if they want to go that way, but equally She can lead him to discover all the possibilities of intimacy without genital sex or penetration, and this closer life of intimacy will probably lead to him getting more sex as well. Surprisingly the man placing himself in chastity opens the blocks that allow both of them to grow together.
The book grew out of a series of courses that Sierra Parker has been developing over many years, and which she has used to help couples grow in intimacy and individual men who seek to develop the skills to allow them to make and keep intimate relationships. These are modular, and cover all the areas covered by the book. Currently there is a course for singles who will need an external supervisor to help them through the process, and one for couples. For those who seek to become key holders for men who wish to be locked up into chastity there is a set of supervisors notes that they can use to work with a single man whom they control, whilst he uses the complimentary client notes and this will help in developing him both into chastity and into learning new skills and behaviours.
For couples the partner will be acting as the supervisor, but an external supervisor can also be assigned to provide support to both partners, and to provide advice and to help with problems. This means that there is always help and support. These courses are available through Sierra Parker directly, but She is now preparing them for publication as well. They have the potential to improve intimacy, introduce chastity into a relationship, and help single men to learn how to be better able to form and develop intimate relationships.
my experience of these courses comes from the fact that my Mistress has used the material from the courses with me, and it has changed the way i behave. She is my supervisor, and i have grown in my skills around the house and my ability to listen and to provide service from the information in the courses. In my case it is not a pair of equals growing together, but a Mistress who already owns me showing me how She wants me to develop. There is already the experience of chastity as She controls that, and now there has been the opportunity to learn how to serve another. She orders it; i study; i succeed. Failure in any exercise comes at a price, but that is my problem. It was training in the domestic skills that meant that i could have Mistress’s house ready for her return from the USA, and the skills i have been taught meant that my work was of an “acceptable standard”.
Even for those who do not follow the paths of domination and submission, male chastity and the reintroduction of intimacy skills in their lives can be so very good, and lead to more rather than less sex.
Both Mistress and myself feel that this is the way forward for so many men, both in relationships and alone, and are so glad that we were able to find this help from Sierra Parker’s book and courses when we needed it. We might have got there anyway, but it has certainly made things so much easier.
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