When i started to be actively interested in bondage it was a largely hidden activity. For me the first experience was being tied up as part of games played as a child. If you have your shoe laces tied together it immobilizes you just as well as any complex bondage system, and makes you submit to the dominant, whether the dominant lady whom any slave might wish to serve, or simply the mate you are playing with in the playground.
For many couples bondage, with one tied spread-eagled to the bed, or with hands tied behind the back can be used to intensify the experience of making love, with the bound partner unable to move and so available for stroking, tickling, and hot and cold stimuli. Especially if the one bound is blindfolded this can be a very intense experience, as without sight , and unable to move, all other sensations, of smell, taste, and especially of touch are enhanced and the pleasure gained from being simply stroked in a sensuous manner when in bondage and blindfolded can be really great giving a totally enjoyable experience. Of course as always it needs to be safe, and consensual, and above all the person bound needs to trust the person who is doing the binding.
In the 50’s and 60’s pictures of women in bondage circulated more underground than in plain sight, including the celebrated pictures of such bondage models as Betty Page. By the late 60’s and early 70’s when i started to look at pictures things were different, with magazines showing semi naked women including in bondage poses in magazines available from the nearest newsagents. For a young man the sight of such pictures always caused excitement but it was myself i fantasized into the situations, not me doing the binding.
At that time there were few pictures of men in bondage outside the gay world, and for someone who is straight this was not somewhere i wanted to go. What seemed to excite me was the idea of me being in bondage and controlled by a powerful Mistress, and this was fuelled by magazines such as MADAME.
my first experiences with bondage as a slave were mainly being stretched out on a bed, cuffed to he head and foot of the bed and left, though one early experience had me strapped into a harness and attached to a frame, then hauled up suspended in the harness with my wrists in cuffs attached to the top of the frame, and the legs spread wide. i found this extremely exciting, and it nearly made me come involuntarily. More often the simple act of being in bondage acted to make me more and more excited.
Over the years this has changed, so that now with more experience i find the opposite is true. The excitement is there as i am placed in bondage, mixed with apprehension as to how I may cope with the position and technique chosen by my Mistress. Once the bondage is applied, however, and i am helpless there is a different feeling of release and of freedom. It seems very strange but the act of being made helpless in bondage takes away my freedom and my inhibitions and releases me to the deep relaxation of the freedom just to be and exist, with no decisions as to movement which is curtailed by my bondage or for anything else. i am freed to be a slave and nothing more.
With time the whole bondage picture has come out into he open, especially with the development of Punk in the 1970’s and 80’s, where stars and fans would dress in new ways, with collars, cuffs and chains to emphasise their difference from the mundane world. Now in 2013 bondage chic, and bondage fashion is everywhere, worn as a fashion statement, a choice for appearance, but also as a direct lifestyle choice.
Similarly the equipment for bondage has become more available, so that everyone can give it a try. Studies suggest that a bondage scenario is one of the more common fantasies for both men and women, with both tying up and being tied up often both desired. The availability of all the equipment now so easily purchased makes this easy to try, so many more people and couples have given it a try to spice up their love life , and to increase their enjoyment. This seems to have exploded since the recent publication of “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Although everyday items can so easily be used the availability in most shopping malls of handcuffs, whether furry or plain, bondage rope, and bondage tape in your local “Ann Summers shop” or equivalent gives lots to try out on your partner.
For some people the idea of a lifestyle of bondage or of dominance has also grown, so that whereas many people like a little bondage or domination as part of their life there are some who wish to take it further and i am one of them. For me being in some form of bondage, as much of the time as possible, gives a whole level of enjoyment to my normal and mundane life. Bondage hidden beneath the clothes known only to myself and my Mistress enlivens the day and certainly can make the most boring business meeting more interesting.
Simple household bondage
Although many scenarios use restraint to the corners of a bed, to secure the person in bondage, and spread them out so they can be touched, caressed and handled there are many other pieces of furniture that can so easily be used. Cuffs or rope may seem the “proper “items to use, but most houses have lots of things that can be used to make movement difficult. Bondage on a chair allows the slave to be secured sitting, with the legs tied to the legs of the chair, and the arms behind the chair or to the arms.The chair turned upside down gives a structure to which a slave can be bound. Bondage on a bed can be simply with arms and legs together rather than spread eagled or wrapped in a sheet. Bondage across a table can lead to good exposure of the backside for a spanking, and also for sex. Bondage with the slave placed in a cupboard or box, small or large allows seclusion out of the way.The slave can be used to hold up a table top for their Mistress, so that tea may be served on it, and have to keep still, or be used as a candlestick, holding hot candles to provide illumination for their Mistress. Where the garden is secluded and not overlooked, bondage outside, to a tree, or garden chair is always possible, though difficult if the weather is inclement so the slave can become wet and cold, which may reduce the pleasure in the scenario for some slaves. Of course for a slave it is the pleasure of Mistress that counts most.
In the bathroom a slave could be secured with arms around and behind the toilet, forced to kneel and unable to move.
The possibilities in most houses and flats are almost endless, and of course for some people it may be possible to use some space as a playroom, in a spare room, attic, cellar, or garage, where more ambitious bondage arrangements may be made.
The bondage itself can use equally available items. Tying someone’s shoelaces together immobilizes them, equally a couple of shoelaces around the wrists and ankles or even tying the thumbs together behind someone’s back is equally effective. Most people have scarves and ties which can be used for bondage as well as for clothing. A ball of string is always useful, but so is tape, where a few turns of “sellotape” can immobilise quickly and efficiently.
Although i like more formal bondage, with rope, cuffs, and chains, or the use of handcuffs and leg irons, all of the methods i have mentioned above have given me great pleasure in the past and are always available in most homes and easy to try.
Sometimes bondage can be done without anything, where the slave is required to take a particular position and to hold it, not allowed to move. Here the immobilization is voluntary but none the less real.
Items to signify bondage
By this i mean items commonly worn but which may be used to signify that there is more to them than simple show. Ankle chains are worn on at least one ankle by many women, and they look good in them. They are a simple adornment without significance of bondage. Change the situation a little, and use slightly heavier chains, on both ankles, and the slave is dressed in “slave ankle chains” which can be worn all the time, and mean to both the slave and his Mistress a sign of his slavery.
Similarly many people, both men and women, wear chains around their necks with pendants and charms. Take a heavier chain, locked on and with the key kept by another and it becomes a mark of slavery. Dog collars and other studded collars are often part of a “punk “like appearance, but there is no reason why the collar cannot be locked on, and come with a lead to use in private. Of course it is not always possible to show such things at work or outside, but for a man dressed in a suit there is no reason why underneath he cannot be wearing ankle chains and collar to signify to himself and his Mistress his slave state.
i was introduced to collars and chains first during sessions of bondage, but later my Mistress started to send me out to run errands for her in bondage under my clothes, and then introduced me to the wearing of a cock and ball ring, made of stainless steel, to be worn under my clothes and labelled with my Mistress’s name and my slave name.
Later i was introduced a rubber collar to wear under my shirt, and thin gold ankle chains to wear under my socks each day. These signified to me my state as slave, and kept it always in my mind but did not limit me or prevent movement.
Most recently my Mistress has changed the rubber collar for a steel collar which is invisible under my shirt and tie, locked on, a chain with an identity disk for the neck and heavy silver ankle chains which are heavy enough to be always felt as I walk. The collar feels heavy and slightly reduces my neck movement. The two together feel really good. Sometimes i am in wrist chains as well. These are signs of my slavery hidden to the outside world but real to me and Mistress, and compliment the wearing of a steel chastity device.
I have found that being cuffed with steel cuffs, whether to the wrists or ankles always triggers in me the desire to submit, and the possibility of them being used on me excites just as much as their use. It is their heaviness and the fact that they are completely inescapable that make them for me successful as a bondage tool.
Positions for bondage
There are so many positions that can be used for bondage, especially with rope bondage, that it is impossible to enumerate them all. Many books on bondage show people in all sorts of twisted and stretched positions, but some of them require a yoga-like level of ability to contort the body. The difficulty is that the more strained the position the more difficult it is to hold the position and to cope with it in bondage for any length of time. If it has taken a long time to set the slave into the position and they can only hold it for a few minutes then it may not be successful.
If cramps occur, and the slave cannot move these can be very painful. When i started as a slave i would often not have enough to drink before a session and was prone to develop cramps in my legs. This gave occasionally such severe pain that the session and position had to be abandoned which was a pity.
As in so many things, practice and experimentation improve performance. Finding positions which can be held, for longer periods and practising with them allows them to be used for longer and intensified. Originally i found the standard hogtie position with me on my face, hands behind back and attached to the ankles pulled up to join them very difficult, and i could scarcely stand it for a few minutes. Now with practice, and in an attempt to please my Mistresses i find that i can cope with it for longer, and once in the position have learned to relax into the bondage, allowing it to be tightened to produce a tighter and more pleasing effect.
Of course sometimes the Mistress may want to put the slave into a position that is difficult as a form of punishment. This needs to be agreed beforehand, and the bondage needs to be secured in such a way it can be quickly released if there is distress and it is too much. As always allowing someone to tie you up or put you into any bondage is a matter of consent and trust.
Experience
One thing that i have learned about bondage, over the years and from the various Mistresses that have trained me is that different Mistresses enjoy different forms of bondage, and have more experience with one way than another. That is one of the fun things about bondage. Over time you are trained on different methods all with the same end in mind, the total subjugation of the slave to his Mistress. you can be introduced to such a range of differing methods of making it difficult for you to move and find out what you enjoy and what your Mistress enjoys, and explore ever more and more methods and positions.
my Journey
Over the past years i have travelled a significant distance in my experience of bondage and my appreciation and pleasure at being in bondage. i have moved from no bondage, through sessions of increasing complexity to a position where i am in daily bondage with collar, chastity, and ankle chains, and more whenever possible , often for days at a time.
The original sessions tended to be short, no more than an hour, but now i crave long periods in bondage, and multiple positions and techniques, with an average session of over four hours plus time in bondage travelling to and from the location, and occasional sessions of 24 hours or longer whenever this becomes possible. There is more and more time involved, more and more learning how to be in a bondage state, and above all more and more pleasure in the submission that bondage brings.
The issues are to make the bondage relatively comfortable, unless it is being used for punishment, totally inescapable and secure. Once in such bondage i can relax into a state of bliss and timelessness, especially if isolated and blindfolded, existing in the moment and waiting for whatever comes next. The better the equipment used the more pleasurable it can be, but it is not the equipment that gives this. It is the care and the imagination used by my Mistress and the development of my relationship as a slave that leads to the best sessions and times in bondage.
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